When my daughter started middle school last year, my husband and I gave her a cell phone. The goal was not to keep up with Joneses, but instead to help us keep in touch with her while she was at a friend's house, a volleyball camp or an afterschool activity. And while we have been happy with our ability to stay in touch, we also have had to grapple with how we are going to keep her safe from cyberbullying, harassment and sexting.
We've realized it's much easier to monitor computer use than it is a cell phone. If you're like us, family computers often stay in a centralized area and you can see what your child is doing. But a cell phone goes with kids when they are out of your sight. So there is a chance that you will miss something while they are away from you.
As a result, we put a few guidelines in place before she received the phone. First, she is required to share all passwords with us. Second, she knows that we will occasionally read her text messages. Third, she is only to give her number out to close friends and not the entire middle school. Fourth, we made sure she understood that if someone sent her something inappropriate online or made a threat to her in anyway, she should tell us.
Still, we realize that when it comes to bullying, kids often don't tell their parents. So while trust our daughter, we also keep a close eye on what she is doing and how she is acting. We realize that knowing how to spot the warning signs of bullying can go a long way in protecting our child. Likewise, if you are able to identify bullying in your child's life early, you can head off some of the damaging effects of bullying.
So far, our experience with having a middle school student with a cell phone has been a positive one. We have been able to connect with her more when she is away from us and keep up-to-date on last minute changes to activity schedules. And fortunately she has not experienced any bullying. But still we realize that with this new freedom on her part, comes the need for added vigilance on our part.
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