Dropping my kids off at school today was hard. A knot of anxiety started forming in the pit of my stomach as soon as my alarm sounded this morning - and I admit I was apprehensive about leaving them, not because I doubt the teachers or the staff of our school district, but because of the unknown. As soon as I pulled away from the curb, the tears started to trickle. But I resolved not to give fear any power in my life today.
After the tragedy in Connecticut, it is hard to move on, even when you're not directly affected. What those parents, students, teachers and staff experienced is unimaginable. The grief, sadness, anger and fear that will mar their holidays is unthinkable. And yet we all have to find a way to cope. We have to put one foot in front of the other and find purpose in our lives again. But it won't be easy. When innocent lives are lost, it is hard. It is tragic. And it's just not right.
We all want to find a way to make the violence end - especially when it impacts our most vulnerable in society. After all, school shouldn't be a scary place. It should be a place where kids embrace learning, practice social skills and prepare for the future. It should be exciting, fun, challenging and hard work. But it should never be scary.
We all know that. And we all want that. So in our effort to ease our fears, as a society, we search for answers - a way to make sense of something that is senseless.
As a result, there's always a lot of talk about issues. From looking into more gun control to addressing mental illness, people have offered up their opinions. Experts have talked about the shooter having autism, a personality disorder and even giftedness. And yet, I am surprised no one has mentioned whether or not he was bullied at school. And quite frankly I hope they don't.
Typically, when an act of school violence occurs, someone someplace will mention that the shooter or shooters were bullied. Columbine is an example of this. But what happens when someone draws a line like this is that they are inadvertently blaming the victims. It's the same as giving the shooter an excuse for his actions. There are no excuses when it comes to tragedies like this. And there are no simple answers. All we know is that we want our schools to be safe and not scary.
Yet despite our best efforts, all our school safety procedures and precautions, and our work to address the issues, we cannot fully prevent another tragedy like the one Connecticut. But we can use this opportunity to become more united as a school community - to bond and work together to ensure the best school environment possible for our students.
So as we head into the New Year think about what you can do personally to help make our schools better, safer, stronger. Drop me a note at bullyingtopicwriter@gmail.com with your ideas. Let's get a dialogue started on what we, as parents, can do as we move forward. And lastly, let's not forget about the victims and what they have experienced. Lift them up in your thoughts and prayers every chance you get.
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